person holding Hello! sticker

The moment I’ve been waiting for…

This is it! It’s happening. My website is finally ready! 🎉

I can’t even remember how long I’ve been thinking and planning and working towards this moment, and now that it is finally here, I don’t really know how to feel.

I did it. I have a website now. 🤯

I built it all by myself, and it took me ages, but I love it and I am so proud of it.

And now the fun, and I suppose the much harder part, begins; filling it with content, sharing it with the rest of the world and hoping that I can make a living from it, which is not an easy task.

It was all great when it was still in my head but now is time to be brave and to actually make it happen so that the dream can become reality. The truth is I suspect that one of the very real reasons it took me years to get started is because, well, it’s kind of terrifying really.

What if it’s a silly idea? What if no one likes it? What if I’m not smart enough? What if my accent is annoying or if my voice is grating? What if I publish a video that’s inaccurate or a post with spelling mistakes? What if I’m wasting my time and money and I end up broke and without any job prospects? Or, worst of all, what if I say or do something stupid and get cancelled? 😬

Believe me when I say I’ve had every insecure thought possible, and then some. There’s a voice inside my head telling me that sooner or later I will be found out as an imposter and an idiot and that I should just quit before I embarrass myself and go get a “normal” job while I still can. I hear the voice of everyone who’s ever criticised me or looked at me funny followed by my own inside voice saying, “what if they were right?”, second-guessing everything I say and do.

But, for better or worse, the truth is, that this is the only thing I’ve seriously and consistently wanted to do for the last 4-5 years. There are many other things I think I would enjoy, career paths I wouldn’t mind exploring, but when it comes down to it, this always comes on top. I cannot imagine doing anything else long-term. Everything else feels like settling for second best while gathering the courage to do this. After all this time, at the very least, I just need to try. Plus, I can’t let those dark voices decide what I do or I’d never get out of bed in the morning.

So here we are.

I would like to tell you that I know what I’m doing and that I’ve thought this through, and you know what? I think I have. I can’t possibly know everything that lies ahead and I am sure that there will be some curveballs along the way but, ultimately, there is only so much planning and preparation you can do. At some point, you have to jump in and do your best and hope it all works out.

The details and my sense of optimism change every now and then but the core of what I want to do during this new adventure is clear to me, and hopefully, it’ll become clear to others as I go.

But let’s not get ahead of myself.

For now, I just want this post to be a celebration of this significant achievement; having finished setting up this website (and the website for my side project, Missing Chapters) and to mark the new beginning that comes with them.

Here’s to me and to the start of something new. 🥂

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